All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize
