Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
In America we eat man semen.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I still have a little drunk in my system
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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