I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
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If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
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i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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