She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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