I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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