That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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