what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I cut my penus on the lid.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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