I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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