dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
