ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize