guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
