I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
