Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
