Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
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being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
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as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize