Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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