Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
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I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I told you penises don't tan
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
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Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster