You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again