Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
