Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
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All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
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He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run