Texts From Last Night

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  (716): View more from New York

  I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.

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  (716): I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me. http://tfl.nu/61es
  Replies (98) Good night (32860) Bad night (1525)
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  (276): View more from Virginia

  Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles

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  (276): Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles http://tfl.nu/8prl
  Replies (8) Good night (974) Bad night (5030)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar

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  (215): you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar http://tfl.nu/veyr
  Replies (6) Good night (659) Bad night (3583)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.

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  (508): VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING. http://tfl.nu/vx02
  Replies (22) Good night (5275) Bad night (838)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.

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  (517): i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go. http://tfl.nu/u5fo
  Replies (13) Good night (2796) Bad night (1137)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"

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  (774): she's crying while babbling "all i do is win" http://tfl.nu/5fua
  Replies (10) Good night (3853) Bad night (1095)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.

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  (989): It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened. http://tfl.nu/z3yw
  Replies (3) Good night (3152) Bad night (841)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.

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  (609): please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future. http://tfl.nu/vzzo
  Replies (7) Good night (2771) Bad night (737)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.

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  (812): I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad. http://tfl.nu/pu3r
  Replies (7) Good night (1692) Bad night (987)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?

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  (303): There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain? http://tfl.nu/ibwj
  Replies (7) Good night (1047) Bad night (670)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina

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  (225): Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina http://tfl.nu/plxw
  Replies (4) Good night (2669) Bad night (1057)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?

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  (804): No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail? http://tfl.nu/kg64
  Replies (5) Good night (1412) Bad night (831)
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  (530): View more from California

  I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.

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  (530): I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing. http://tfl.nu/7jie
  Replies (6) Good night (1150) Bad night (411)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.

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  (773): Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine. http://tfl.nu/87vg
  Replies (4) Good night (410) Bad night (796)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?

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  (313): saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man? http://tfl.nu/248d
  Replies (4) Good night (429) Bad night (338)

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