he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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