I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
