is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
