dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
