you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize