I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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