New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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