Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
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