come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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