I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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