Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
