Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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