How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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