i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
