cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
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You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
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