i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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