Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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