He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
