Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
