So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
where are you?
Hypothermia
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
