you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
