you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
