k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
