That's when you crack a 10am beer
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
