By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
