cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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