So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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