Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
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