i jhust puked up my retainher.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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