Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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