you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
