I wannas sexs uuuuu
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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