i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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