how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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