I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
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it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
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I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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