JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
