i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
