The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
