Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
