I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize