so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
