The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
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