Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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