Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
