She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
